tips + tricks + hacks from a trained doula

As a birth doula, I’ve had many conversations with my twenty-something-year-old friends about childbirth. It usually involves a lot of listening on my end as the young woman sitting across from me in the coffee shop wrestles with her fears and misconceptions surrounding the ever increasingly taboo topic of birth. “I used to be terrified of giving birth, but then I looked around and remembered that every single person on earth was born, so birth is obviously a normal process…I think I could do it…But I’m still scared that I won’t be able to cope with the pain! I mean it has to be more intense than anything I’ll ever experience, plus, I have a very low pain tolerance…” and she'll go on and on until she reaches her triumphant conclusion: “I’ll just have to do more research. I don’t know how I’ll feel about it when I’m actually pregnant one day.” To which I politely smile and nod, knowing that if she does in fact do her research, she’ll uncover the wonderful secrets about birth that our modern world doesn’t want women to know.

Do you want to know those secrets? Do you want to know the truth about birth? If the answer is yes, keep on reading, lady! If the answer is no… Well, maybe we’ll have to go get coffee together sometime.

Pregnancy and birth are intimate, beautiful and powerful miracles, and women deserve to know the truth about them. Psalm 36:9 tells us that God is the giver of life. He is the only one who can create life, but He chooses women to be “co-creators” of life by carrying and birthing human beings. God created your female body in such an intentional, and intricate way, and God doesn’t make mistakes. Your body knows exactly what it needs to do to safely give birth to your baby.

According to the National Library of Medicine, “Twenty percent of pregnant women in developed nations report a fear of childbirth.” But what if all women knew that God created their bodies with the inherent ability to give birth? Yes, your body knows how to give birth. Birth is not a medical emergency, and 90% of women have normal healthy pregnancies with no need for medical interventions. High-risk complications occur in only 6-8% of all pregnancies. If this is shocking to you, I don't blame you at all. Birth has become taboo. Women get way too much birth education from movies, traumatic birth stories, and doctors who are unfortunately trying to make money off of unnecessary medical interventions. Which is why women today need to intentionally educate themselves about the physiological process of birth.

In Luke 22:19, during the last supper, Jesus says to his disciples, “This is my body, given up for you.” This foreshadows Jesus’ death on the cross for the salvation of the world. The crucifixion included pain, and suffering, but it was done in love. When a woman experiences discomfort during pregnancy, or looks in the mirror and sees her stretch marks, or breastfeeds her baby for the one hundredth time that day, she too can look at her child with love and say, “This is my body, given up for you.” And when it comes to the pain of childbirth, because it really is painful, we can pray, “Jesus, thank you for suffering on the cross to save me. Please, take this pain and unite it with your pain on the cross, so that I can help you redeem the world.” I promise you, in His mercy, God will accept that prayer and will not waste your suffering.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Okay, that all sounds beautiful, but can we be more practical here?” Yeah, I got you.. Here are some practical tips from a certified birth doula to help you prepare your mind, body, and soul for birth:

1. Pray for your birth experience.

Ask God to protect you and your child, and to help you prepare for birth. Ask Him to clear any fears surrounding childbirth, and to provide you with the education you need. God chose women to help Him bring forth new life, so how could we separate ourselves from the creator of life during this time?

2. Prepare yourself mentally for birth.

Constantly fill your mind with truth and affirmations. “My body knows how to birth my baby.” “My contractions can’t be stronger than me, because they are me.” “I am safe, my baby is safe.”

3. Become educated about the physiological process of birth.

This is the number one way to eliminate fear of childbirth. Even if you want an epidural or other pain medication during labor, I still strongly encourage every woman to learn about what your body does during birth, because the fundamental process of birth is the same no matter what. Don’t you want to know what your body is doing? (for more information see the recommended article below).

4. Practice breathing.

It sounds comically simple, right? But breathing can help you tremendously during any painful experience. Breathing deeply, naturally relaxes our muscles. Tense muscles=more intense pain. Relaxed Muscles=less intense pain. Breathe with me now…In through your nose for four slow seconds, then out through your mouth for eight slow seconds. Do this five times, and boom! You just practiced breathing through one contraction!

5. Know your options for labor and birth.

You can seriously decline any medical intervention. You can choose to give birth at a hospital, birthing center, or at home with a Midwife. You can choose to have a water birth, or give birth in the hospital bed. You can choose from different types of pain medication, or you can use natural methods of pain relief. This is what those crunchy hippie ladies talk about when they use the phrase “birth plan.” It’s important to know what you want and what the benefits and risks of each choice are. Even if your birth does not go to plan, you will still feel empowered knowing that you made informed decisions about your birth.

2nd Timothy 1:7 Says, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” All throughout scripture, God tells His children to “be not afraid” (God actually says this three hundred and sixty five times in the Bible!) I believe with all my heart that this applies to birth as well. If we trust God, if we surrender our birth to Him, we can be brave, even in the midst of the unknown. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, women are co-creators with God. We instinctively know how to cooperate with Him already. How can giving birth be any different?

Sources: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31307347/ https://www.ucsfhealth.org/conditions/high-risk-pregnancy https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1595040/

Article about the Physiological Process of Birth: https://www.mamanatural.com/stages-of-labor/

With love, your writer,

Lydia

How Not to be Terrified of Childbirth